Fun Facts about the bar exam

The exam is something you register for months in advance. This is to remind you it takes time to re-memorize everything that you learned in law school, especially from the first year classes. Because you *did* promptly forget everything about 3 weeks after those final exams. Happily the one company in the test prep business that has a near monopoly makes excellent study materials.

In a best case scenario you cram everything back into your noggin and perfect the delicate art of writing paragraphs containing only buzzwords and the occasional complete sentence. In the real world you study when you can, deal with issues of real life like rent checks, children or reasonable facsimiles thereof, illness, and all those things that will continue to be just as pressing after the exam memories have been obliterated by several liters of quality alcohol.

When the stars align, you get to take the test at your preferred location, which is usually convenient to the closest BART stop near your home. When Global Warming is in effect, you are assigned to a test center that requires either a one hour train commute, or at least one bridge.

A friend graciously allowed me to crash an empty room at his place in San Francisco's Inner Sunset. This was a perfect combination of unfamiliar accommodations that prevented me from sleeping through my pre-dawn alarm clock, and close enough proximity that my alarm really didn't have to wake me up before actual dawn. Although due to the fog, I was never really sure when dawn occurred. I was always first in line at Arizmendi's when it opens at 7:00am.

When it comes to taking the test you're on your own for timekeeping.
You can wear an analog watch, but not a digital one, and never one that beeps. Unfortunately, I can't find the damn receipt to take that shiny Timex back to Target.

If you finish before the 5 minute warning, you can leave. Otherwise, you have have to sit quietly in your chair, and wait, and wait, and wait. If you get up or otherwise twitch, you get issued a disciplinary violation that goes to the State Bar.

No food or drink (even water)can be brought into in the exam room. Mints and gum are not food. Bringing in food gets the same violation as twitching after the 5 minute warning.

You can bring earplugs. Unless you're hard of hearing. In that case, don't need earplugs, but ask the area proctor to repeat all the instructions that were broadcast over the loudspeaker, or at least the ones you didn't hear. You may need earplugs if there is a violent sounding windstorm that shakes the building. Earplugs will not help in the event of an earthquake. I pity the fools down in Chino.

Unlike other state licensing exams, there is no instant pass/fail notification. Instead they wait until the weekend before Thanksgiving to notify you. Applicants get three days to sober up, commit suicide, or flee the country before the general public gets access to the results. Yep. THANKSGIVING that famously low-stress, family gathering event.

I'll let you know how I did after Thanksgiving, unless I've fled the country. ;)