5 things I would NOT do on Maui

1) Attend a luau -- Bad food, cheesy music, uninspired fire dancing.
2) Ride a bike down Haleakala -- You + tons of out-of-shape, frozen cyclists duking it out with inexperienced mountain motorists trying to take in the view.
3) Stay in Maalea -- Where the cane smoke blows and the mosquitos breed.
4) Ride the Sugar Cane train -- Less interesting than the Wine Train, without booze.
5) Snorkel without a t-shirt over my swimsuit -- hello crusty sunburn.

It's impressive the things folks have come up with to separate tourists from their money. The things I love most about Maui are generally inexpensive or free.

For example, you don't have to get your SCUBA certification to do what I call underwater birdwatching. A mask, a snorkel, and decently long swim fins will get you to most of the pretty fishies. Snorkel kits for hire are about $2-5 dollars a day, or cheaper by the week-long rental.

Walking/hiking is also free or available for a nominal entry fee. Even if there is a fee, when else are you going to wander over a swinging, wooden suspension bridge, amble through groves of bamboo fragrant with the heady scent of white ginger, or gawk at the view from the top of a 10,000 foot volcano down to the ocean.

All beaches in Hawaii are public land. There always has to be a public accessway, even if poorly signed. A nicer option than flumping onto a tatami mat covered with a cushy towel with your cold drink and book is hard to contemplate.

Someone else can ride the sugar cane train. It might be fun, if you were 3.