Once again I have concluded that attempts to pursue any sort of sibling relationship with my younger sister, AKA the Bane of My Existence, is effort spent in vain. As exhibit A, I present the following excerpts from my conversation with her after I escaped the confines of the St. Somebody County Expo Center yesterday.
(sound of phone ringing)
[BofME] Hello?
[QIR] Hey, it's your sister.
[BofME] Oh hey, I was gonna call you today.
[QIR] oh?
[BoME] Yeah, I was talking to Mom & Dad, I guess you're going out there for Xmas?
[QIR] That's the idea, I'm going to go out for a few weeks, I don't know if I'll stay through New Years, but yeah, I'll be there then. What are you doing for Christmas?
[BoME] Oh we're going to (scrambly sound)
[QIR] You're going where?
[BoME] Tahiti. I said we're going to Tahiti. This trip is really going to be a treat for us. We've worked hard all year (blah blah 5 minutes of Very Defensive Justifaction of why they deserve to go to Tahiti for Christmas).
{brain} Why does she sound so defensive about this? We've spent XMAS together as adults exactly once...
[QIR]Uhh, okay. You know, you don't have to justify your travel plans to me. If you want to do something, just do it, right?
[BoME] Well, we just really need this trip and (blah blah 5 minutes more about how They Work So Hard and these semi-annual trips are how they recover)
[QIR] Well that's interesting, but I'm sure you weren't going to call me about that. What's up?
[BoME] I needed to let you know about a save the date thingy.
[QIR] oh?
[BoME] Yeah, my white coat ceremony is on January 6th. It's kind of like graduation for us in the Physicians Asst program, because we get our white coats and we start our rotations.... (blah blah 5 minutes of why this event is more like graduation than actual graduation) So anyhow, Mom & Dad are coming out for it. I ordered tickets back in August, but now Cousin X wants to fly up from LA and come to the ceremony too. Did you want to come to this? It's sort of like my graduation.
{brain} So let me see if I have this right: you need to know if I want to come to your "graduation" because you assumed I'd come, but you didn't actually invite me. Now you're asking if I -want- to come so that if, at this fairly late date, I have a conflict then you can give the ticket you ordered for me to our cousin that we haven't seen since 1996?
[QIR] So this is in lieu of a graduation you won't be going to? Yes? OK, sure, I'll come to that.
{brain} have fun figuring out what to do with Cousin X.
[QIR] Speaking of graduations and save the dates, I should tell you mine, it's the Saturday before the MonsterMay Footrace, I think that's May 19th. Our school hasn't told us anything about the ticket situation yet, but I thought I'd let you know the date.
[BoME] Ok, well we'd like to come. Wait. You said the 19th?
[QIR] I think so. Whatever the Saturday that is closest to the 20th is. I think it's the 19th. They finally figured that having it on the same day as MonsterMay Footrace is a bad idea.
[BoME] Ok, well the thing is, I have that week off. It's the only time we get off the whole year, so Hubs and I were planning on going out of town because I won't have any other time off for a while.
{brain} I thought you just said you were going to Tahiti for two weeks. Also, if memory serves, the reason you didn't want to participate in a 50th Wedding anniversary trip for the 'rents next August is because you get a week or two between every rotation and you're going to be travelling on your own...
[QIR] Ok, so what are you saying?
[BoME] I'm saying that we definitely want to come to your graduation, but we might be out of town.
(disembodied voice of Professor Contracts - An illusory promise is a statement that sounds like a commitment, but isn't. Example: I promise to paint your house if I feel like it. I promise to loan you a thousand dollars if I feel it's in my best interest. Those are illusory promises.)
{brain} Alrighty then, mark down BoME and Hubs for two hopefully exchangable and not too expensive tickets, so they can come to my graduation, unless they decide to go out of town...
BoME had a great deal more blah blah to dispense; eventually I said I needed to get going.
[BoME] Well, don't be such a stranger, you should call more often!
{brain} Every time I call, you give a good reason NOT to call you again.
[QIR] Ok, well most of my free time is between 11pm and 2am.
{brain} That will only keep you off the hook until next May you know.
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4 comments:
I should have flushed her instead of her stuffed toy.
Is she usually so...selfish?
If there's room for friends I'll come to your graduation QIR.
Monks - If there is room at the grad you are definitely invited. This is just one small example of how lucky you are to have your great relationship with Shweens.
I'm not sure which part is better, the self centeredness or the passive aggression.
Is she the youngest?
I love my sister to pieces but like most youngest children...she's just the slightest bit selfish and willing to be "pampered". OTOH, she is 99.99999% frocking awesome. And like most older siblings...I can be somewhat volatile & bossy and accuse of her selfishness unnecessarily thus hurting her feelings and setting off a gigantic sulk between the 2 of us.
Anyway, graduation! Even if I can't come to the ceremony maybe I'll think about coming up around that time and dragging you out with me to a dinner and Sonoma tour! I'll have to plan ahead this time.
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